Nathan's Old Blog

2004-05-11T16:12:00.000+12:00

Ok, my blog is shifted:
http://theeel.blogspot.com
Sorry for any inconvience this may cause.

2004-05-03T17:26:00.000+12:00

|Grrr...|
Comments aren't retrieving for me

But Thanks to all those who have posted comments!

2004-05-03T14:01:00.000+12:00

|What I've been up to|
Herein I summarize my life, what has been going on, etc.

Most of what I've been doing has been busified, so Its quite hard to keep in touch with what I've done. Its not so good for the blogging.
Anyhow, I have been working hard at university, doing my honours year. It has been challenging having to give presentations and seminars. So far I've done two, (I've got about eight in total) which have gone pretty well, despite my nervousness, and its effects on my clarity. I am so thankful for cognitive aids - Powerpoint with speaker notes makes it so much easier on my memory.

With Christian Union I've been involved in the running of the main prayer meetings, and a monday night cell group. I'm also involved in the exec, which does take up a lot of the time. I'm finding it a good time to continue growing in leadership. I'm not sure I'm really doing all I could and perhaps should do, but I try.

Soccer has been happening, which is cool. I play indoor some wednesdays, church league some saturdays, and have a regular kick round some sundays. Its good for my skills.

Ok, Thats a quick summary of where I am at. I'll be writing another general summary of what my plans for the future are soon. (Before the aforementioned future hopefully =)

|Poem: Fruyulops|
We wander here
We wander there
Tasting the fleeting tastes of the fruyulops
Floating round and round
Floating in and out
Taking a piece here
Taking a piece there
Chewing on one
Swallowing
Moving on

until next time, Adun Toridos!- I mean... cye!

2004-04-30T22:11:00.000+12:00

|What does the future hold?|
I guess this is a question I'm wondering about currently.
Any suggestions, leave a comment...
I've a multitude of ideas, but can't distinguish between them.

2004-04-27T15:31:00.000+12:00

|Poetry|
Is it legitimate to put off something that needs to be done for a period of time so you can fully capture the emotion of the in-between stage in poetry?

2004-04-25T21:43:00.000+12:00

I feel like I've spent too long in one place, I've spent so much of my life in such a small space. One of these days I'm going to leave. You have been warned.

Anyhow. Here's some stuff I learnt over the holidays, which I was smart enough to write down, so I can type them out for you now.

|Good Preachers|
Good Preachers are not analogous to Good Speakers. A good speaker can use stories, persuasion, techniques, and arouse a response in people, can get them to change their mind, even their behaviour. A good preacher can probably do the same, but they have one more quality: They use the bible. They are in touch with the spirit, they pray for the people they are preaching for wanting to see the spirit move in them, and they realize how the spirit moves: Through the word of God.
So, its all good to have speakers motivating us, and informing us, but they aren't as good for our souls as are preachers. Give me a preacher anyday.

|Talking|
Less spiritual, but I've often thought about it, (ironically, often at the expense of not talking) as it does seem to affect me in a lot of my life. We use conversation in our everyday life, to improve our relationships. To be good at conversation is good. Some of this is probably pretty basic, or intuitive, but I just feel like writing about it, in the hope that perhaps by doing this, I'll be able to come up with ways to be a better conversationalist

So... what makes good conversation? Well, one part I've been thinking about is the idea of topic finding. It seems that once a topic is agreed apon, two people can talk about it for quite some time, provided both parties are sufficently talkative, and dont make conversational blunders.

Following on from one topic to another can be called topic bridging, and is quite easy, because you are bridging from one topic to another, and usually this happens naturally. Initial topic finding is quite hard, because you have to come up with something from scratch. There is a barrier starting the talking, breaking the ice if you like, and there is a lack of any feedback about potential topics (like you get with topic bridging).
Then there is a grey area in between bridging and initial topic finding. We'll call it secondary topic finding, but it can look bridging and intial topic finding, depending on the latency. It occurs when the conversation on one topic dies down (or hits a bump) and another topic isn't found. This is that silence that is rumoured to happen every seven minutes, when everyone goes quiet for a while, but then an extrovert says something, cracks a joke, and they keep talking.

Today I'm mostly going to blog about (initial) topic finding. This is the primary skill, if you have no problems here, you won't have many problems in the other areas. The section below outlines how to start a good conversation
Basically, the question here is, how do we start a good conversation? This is where pick up lines come in. I mean..... Uh... Who mentioned pick up lines? Not me. Nothing to see here, moving right along.
As I was saying, ways to start a conversation:

Firstly, you may want to start small. Ask the time, make a comment about something you've both done, crack a joke, something small. That way you both start to get a feel of talking to the other person, and start to get an idea of what they may talk about. You can then use bridging to get on to a bigger topic, and from there you are in.

You also want to try and focus on them. People are more likely to like talking about things relating to them. Its human nature. No-one likes talking about something that they aren't interested in. You are probably interested in most aspects of your life, but they probably aren't interested in all of it, so don't fall into the trap of talking heaps about yourself. You also want to think about them as well, and not about yourself. What type of person are they? What do they like?
The flip side of this is that sometimes you can opt to share something personal. It can be a good idea, it gets them thinking, and the conversation deep, but beware of the pitfall of turning it into a lecture. Because then, when you finish talking, the conversation finishes, and you have to do some more topic finding.

Hypothetical and random questions are often good here. I am a fan of these. "If you could commit any crime, what would it be?" "If you were stuck on a desert island, what would you take?" "If you were a fruit, what fruit would it be?" etc, etc. A more strange one does benifit with a bit of framing - "I was thinking..." "Someone asked me the other day..." "I was reading..." These have the benifit of enabling the person answering to go as deep as they like, or just passing it off.

Man. I wonder how many people have made it to the end. If you made it throught, Good work. You deserve a grumblecake!
I probably have added a whole lot of stuff in there that should be under the topic I defined - its hard to try and write about just one part of talking.
Your comments would be much appreciated. Is "topic finding" a useful concept? Or should I just stick with conversaton starting? What other useful tips would you have to help someone start a conversation?

2004-04-20T22:46:00.000+12:00

|How to lose your faith in ten days|
Hey guys, I've had a few ideas over the past while about how Satan attempts to get at you. I mentioned one way earlier - That of getting you to do stuff that goes against what you believe, and slowly getting you to change.
Another couple of ways is to attack your lines of communication. There are two major sources of support for Christians - God, and other Christians. If Satan can drive a wedge between these, he's got you where he wants you. If he can cut one source completly off, its quite dangerous, and if he can cut both of them completly off, you'll need a miracle. (Good thing he's a God of miracles huh?)

Cutting you off from others:
Fellowship is so important. You need it, you need it, you need it. What is it? Fellowship is more than just christians hanging out with each other. Its christians hanging out, and encouraging each other, spuring each other onto growth. Honesty is a vital part of this, because it enables everyone to keep track of everyone else, to tell them what they need to hear, to pray for them, and to generally encouarge them. The trick Satan has is to make you be ashamed of what you've done, and so you are afraid of being open and honest to Christians. Pride can also get in the way here, as you don't want people to think you are any less than you like to portray yourself.
Getting caught in the trap of being closed to other christians is really bad. You fester on the inside, and don't have a chance to talk to anyone about it. The longer you are dishonest, the harder it is, as you don't want to lose your image, and you are starting to feel a little embarrassed about being a hyprocrite. You thought you could ignore it, but it starts to be all of you that isn't seen by others. You need to let other people in on your struggles. We all go through them, so there is no need to be ashamed. We all don't tell others about them to different degrees, so no need to be ashamed there either. Tell someone whats going on!

Cutting you off from God:
This is far more dangerous. A healthy Christian has disciplines that enable them to continue with their life and their relationship with God even when the going gets rough, and the feelings seem to dissappear. If these disciplines aren't continuing, the christian is at the mercy of their emotions and what happens around them - If the feeling goes, there is no depth to their relationship, and so it dries up.
Sins get in the way of this. You miss a reading because you feel guilty. You don't want to face up to your sins, so you skip your prayer. God is forgiving guys. He expects us to make mistakes. Draw near to God and he will draw near to you! Don't get caught up in a cycle of guilt and sin and more guilt and more sin. Know that God forgives even the worst sinners, and he is waiting for you to return, not to put you down, but to build you up.

These two go hand in hand. If you aren't close with God, it'll be so much easier to put distance between yourself and others. And the same the other way round.

In conclusion, be honest, to God and Man, and don't put up barriers in relationships.

cye!

2004-04-20T13:44:00.000+12:00

|Listening to God|
Theres no point asking God for the answers to stuff you already know, theres not point praying to God asking for direction when you aren't actually seeking direction in the means he ordained. Its really rather rude to God if you have easy access to his word, good friends who you can rely on for good advice, and a good brain to work things out, but you don't use them to discern his will. Whats the use of saying 'I want to know whats going on' when you don't make any attempt to do so, aside from telling God about it.
Don't hide from what you already know. Don't waste your time pretending you don't have the answer. Pray to God, and look at his word, and talk to others. Perhaps my life would be a lot better if I was good at applying this principle of guidance.

|A question for Christians|
Do you believe the eternal state of Christians is far better than that of a Non-Christian? If so, what are you doing about it? If you aren't doing anything about it, something is wrong with your reasoning. And you're probably slipping, even if you arne't aware of it. If you continue to act against what you believe, your beliefs subtly start to change. Its Cognitive Dissonance, and its dangerous. Know what you know, and act on it.

|busy, tired|
These two adjectives describe me now. Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to go to easter camp and tscf conference. Whats done is done. Now I must do the best with what I have.

cye!

2004-04-12T23:46:00.000+12:00

|Actual holidays?|
I've been away from wednesday till now at Easter Camp
Tomorrow I go to tscf conference till sunday.

maybe i'll come back rested. maybe not

cye!

2004-04-06T15:16:00.000+12:00

|Non-holidays|
I'm in the library for the second day of the holidays, again. The scary thing is that I think I'm enjoying myself. Its not that I enjoy spending hours looking up different things, and trying to sort out what people were trying to do in their experiments, but rather, I kind of enjoy the fact that I'm on the edge of what people know, and if I was to do an experiment right now, it could quite possibly expand that knowledge. Its somewhat exciting.

2004-04-06T10:54:00.000+12:00

|Intellectual Gossip|
Its interesting when people say "Scientists have shown ..." or "Statistics say ...". The problem is that science, statistics are hardly as clear cut (and studies have shown 67% of statistics are made up on the spot) as the person who quotes them makes them out. As I have learnt reading numerous articles on the topic of inattentional blindness, statistics, experiments can be contested. This is part of the reason why in the scientific literature, any mention of other evidence needs to be referenced, so the reader can check it out.
So, if you are going to make an appeal to authority, or mention another source, its always a good idea to be able to trace it. Otherwise you may get what I like to call "intellectual gossip". Ideas that are passed on from person to person, but don't retain their original constraints.

Take for example the whole greek love words. (eg. Phileo, Agapae, Eros) They are all have different meanings, no-one disagrees with that. But the problem is that a lot of emphasis has been on the differences in words, and in the end people seem to equate agapae with the highest form of love, God's love, completely pure, unselfish, wanting the best for others, the love we all should have. Well, I hate to break it to you, but agapae is really really common in new testament greek, so much so that I would believe it to be more of a default word, and is also used in relation to the love of sin. Is that God's love? I doubt it. But don't trust me: check it out for yourself - get a transliteral version of the bible, and look up random references to love. I'm guessing most of the time it'll be agapae.
Another example is the Left-Right brain idea. According to a lot of people one side of the brain is for boring maths and logic, but the other side is this amazing playground of intuition and emotional smartness. Some people use only their logical side, and thats why they have bad social skills. Sorry guys, the brain works together as one unit. This is the function of the corpus collosum. Its true that people with unilateral brain damage can behave in strange ways, but brains that don't work don't always show us how brains that do work operate. The brain is mostly symmetrical, and laterality differences are not as pronounced as much as people emphasize. But don't take my word on it, look it up yourself, and check to make sure what I'm saying is correct.

Don't spread half-truths - Don't be an intellectual gossip

2004-04-03T23:33:00.000+12:00

|Redemption|
I love the way life is filled with second chances. God grants us second chances all the time, and even when we don't deserve them. I think I've worked out why I was so happy in the other post (and still continue to be): Grace. God keeps giving me what I don't deserve. He keeps giving me good things, and keeps on giving me oppurtunity to do good to others. It's great!

2004-04-02T15:52:00.000+12:00

|All iraqis loathe americans|
I watched the news the other day, and was saddened to see the ambush.
I heard the news yesterday of the iraqi ambush of the america. Its sickening, we all know that, but I just want to write this post against a misconclusion that people may or may not draw; that all iraqis loathe americans.

For a start, this is a generalization, and all generalizations are false.
Seriously though, I don't think this is a good conclusion at all, and its related to why I don't join in with student protests. The problem here is not the iraqi people, but a few antisocial iraqis. I heard that a local cameraman said that most iraqis were inside, and didn't approve of the attack. This may be true, this may not, but the point is, we only saw a limited number of extremists on that video, and that limited number of people doesn't represent the majority.

Some may say, if there are people who are that extreme, there must be a decent number who are also opposed to america. Perhaps that is true in some cases, but political views are usually not "normally distributed", but polarized. In any given group, there's usually a few extremists. Even in the scientific world (which I've been learning about recently). Anyway, the point I'm trying to argue is that the voice of the extremists is not the voice of the people

This is why I'm against student protests (protesting in general is ok), because those protesting are not a representitive voice. People in this country have democratic rights, so they shouldn't have to resort to making a nusance of themselves to be heard - there are other methods at their disposal.

At the end of the day I'd rather listen to 10 people who are talking than one person with a megaphone.

2004-03-30T21:52:00.000+12:00

|James|
I like the book of James, because so often its an excellent antidote to intellectual extremism. Someone will say, 'we are saved by faith alone', this is true, but we can't forget about works (James 2) Someone could say 'we can't get closer to God than we already are' which is true to a degree, our position in christ is always the same, yet we still can 'draw near to God and he will draw near to us' (James 4)
Another good thing about it is that its quite applicable in its teaching. It seems that James was a pragmatic man, and focused on the applications, rather than working from theory to show how we should live. (kinda like he's the polytech, and paul's the university)

I would recommend reading this book to add a balance to your understanding of christianity, espeically if you are an action person, and find it hard to wrap your head around stuff like romans (face it - we all do). Mind due, I wouldn't recommend you concentrate only on this book, but to read it as part of the whole bible.

In short, read James, and read the whole bible. Even memorize them. all of them? its possible! I know of at least two people who have done it. Say, maybe thats a good resolution? To memorize a book of the bible. Might have to think about it a little first. Its a big commitment. But I'll let you know whats going on.

cye!

2004-03-28T20:56:00.000+12:00

|Rights|
People have a right to be stupid.

maybe?

2004-03-28T20:18:00.000+12:00

|Complete|
My U2 CD collection is now complete. I have within my possession all the albums U2 have released, including the 2 E.P.s (under a blood red sky & wide awake in america) and the 2 best ofs (along with the B-sides)

Its nice to know I've spent lots of money to complete something that doesn't really matter.

|Relationships|
Its been a while, I think I can talk about relationships again. This time I have an excuse - I'm doing an intimate relationships paper at uni, so I have to think about this for my degree. Got that?

A lot of people think that its all about finding that right person, to have a relationship with. My latest relationship theory is that the important thing is not the person in themselves, but the relationship that you have, and you could have.
The problem with picking someone with qualities that are good for you is that it is too objective, and if everyone took it to the extreme, there would be a whole lot more stalkers.
What is going to matter is what type of relationship you can have with someone. Can you really honour God together? Can they assist you in your ministry? Can you build each other up? Can you make each other happy?
I guess the reason I think this is good is that you only have to look at what is there, and not what characteristics they may or not have, because the chances are, if their characteristics aren't available to you in a relationship now, then they won't be available for you later, so there's no use imagining what could be.

Anyway, this is a random thought that probably doesn't make sense seeing this is the first time I've written it down. Perhaps some comments could be added?

cye!

2004-03-25T15:27:00.000+12:00

|how to stop people blowing themselves up|
Ok, I found this in the drafts, so I'm just going to post it as a one liner (well, not its a two liner, but what the hey)
Perhaps we could accept the fact that this generation are going to keep blowing themselves up, and conctrate on the next generation, and look at how we can prevent the next generation from doing the same to themselves. Just a thought
(ok, a multi-liner then.)
cye!

2004-03-25T15:25:00.000+12:00

|What I question about ethunasia|
I can't see the difference between youth sucide and ethunasia. Just about everyone dislikes youth sucide, and don't think anyone should commit sucide. Whats the difference between a young person who's life is unbearable committing sucide and an old person who'd life is unbearable participating in voluntary ethunasia? Both are taking human life, which we don't have the mandate do to, and hence, wrong

|A comparative approach to ethics|
Its funny, the theme of the last few posts have been about what is right and what is wrong. I think its time to move on, but before I do, I thought I'd make an observation on how I have argued that some things are right and wrong.
I've noticed the way I argue is to find another similar issue from which I make comparison. Its a good way to look for arguments for and against things, but it requires that people have a similar view to you on the compared issue. I guess that's why you need to compare with things that are quite obvious.
Anyhow, thats just a thought, and hopefully the first fruits of some posts that aren't about intellectual arguments over ethics.

cye!

2004-03-25T09:41:00.000+12:00

The windows seemed a whole lot cleaner when I looked out of them yesterday. They haven't been cleaned. It's funny how sometimes things just look better because of the way we feel. I guess I'm feeling a little elated, which is weird, as I have nothing to explain it. Weird.
God is Good.

2004-03-24T10:21:00.000+12:00

|Finally|
Hurrah! They are considering a law change:
"...The change would make it legal for someone who owns a legitimately obtained CD to make one copy for their own private use. Under the widely flouted current law, all copying, even for personal listening, is banned...."
Read Further:-->

How silly is it to have a law that says I can't use mp3s for CDs that I have legitimatly purchased the listening rights to? Hopefully this is the start of a law change that will allow people like me, who support the artists I enjoy listening to by buying their CDs, to make use of technology to enjoy the music without breaking the law.
I don't think a law change is going to make it easier for pirates, but even if it does, theres not a lot of point taking away my rights so that another person can enforce their rights. It just doesn't make sense.

For those of you who don't know, I am greatly opposed to intellectual property theives, the so called "pirates", as I view what they do as robbery, just like anything else - You may have noticed a metaphor in an earlier post, which tried to explain to the world how injust I think it is to steal someone elses intellectual property.
Have a read of it -->
On a more pesonal note, when you steal off a recording company, you force a price raise on CDs I buy, so, you are stealing from me.
And to end on a biblical note:
"He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need." (Ephesians 4:28)

Added in response to comments:
A lot of people argue that they are being ripped off by buying music at full price. I don't really have a lot of respect for people who use this as justification for piracy.
I think that a lot of cars are over priced, but you don't see me stealing them! What a ridiculous idea! We have no right to dictate how much people are selling things for! People have the right to sell their property for whatever they want, and WE HAVE NO RIGHT TO TAKE THIS RIGHT AWAY FROM THEM! Are you going to go to a car sales man, and tell him that his cars are overpriced? No! He has a right to his property! The Right we have is to not buy they goods. We can either buy an alternative good or not consume it at all.
(If there was a monopoly on a necessary good, that is bad as people have to buy stuff at outrageous prices, but we have the monopolies commission (yes, only one monopoly commission), and you will have a hard job of convincing me that music (in CD form) is a neccessity. Besides, because it is a monopoly, competition keeps prices down to a level that is reasonable. If it were possible to produce quality music legally, it would be done.)
Those in the music industry are not thieves! They provide a service for us, which we can choose to accept or to decline. If we choose to exploit them, we let ourselves down, and our society down. If everyone was a pirate, there would be no music system.
Pirates? No - Parasites are a better name. They live off the rest of us, not prepared to pay what others pay. I am disgusted.

I've gone a little emotional... Here's a summary of what I'm intellectually saying:
Pirating is stealing of intellectual property which is just as bad as stealing.

2004-03-23T11:20:00.000+12:00

Its interesting to see what kind of posts different people comment on.
The question is, what type of person is going to comment on this post?

2004-03-22T12:03:00.000+12:00

|Late|
Did anyone notice the time on my last post? I was up pretty late. Its not good for sleep to have exercise late at night, because it means you have to cool down before your body can shut down. But having a blade at night is quite therapeutic, so I imagine I shall do it again sometime.

|Doing things by halves|
Imagine you are sorting books that are being taken in at a rapid rate. At first you start to sort them by their unique number, which is all good, it helps you keep track of them. Ok, so you've done this for about half a day, and you've managed to sort out all the incoming books, and are ready for a bit of a break, but then someone comes along and tells you to change your tatics. They think you should order them by subject. That would have been a good idea, and you probably would have taken it, if you hadn't started the task already. To impliment the new plan, you'd have to resort all the old books, which would slow down intake of the new books, so even though the new plan would have been better from the start, it is a worse plan now that another plan has already been started. (When we ran the second hand book sale at university, we sorted by subject, right from the start - good idea)

That is why I think its stupid for people to protest against America and tell them to get out of Iraq. Invading Iraq may have been stupid in the first place, but now that it has been done, occupation is the best option. If the handing over of power is rushed, I don't think it would be best for the people of Iraq. Imagine what chaos a country would be in if you took out the ruling government and justice systems, and then just left it all.
Perhaps they should hand it over to the U.N.? Maybe they should have straight after they took over (its somewhat debatable - America has a right/responsibility to be in Iraq, because they were the ones who started the invasion in the first place) but its probably a little too late now. If they were to hand it over, there would be a whole lot of issues, the U.N. would have to work out exactly how things are done, and come up with a plan for the future.
I think its better if we all wait until may when america plans on pulling out.

|Terrorism works!|
It looks like Spain is pulling out of Iraq.
Again, I would say not to do things by half. Perhaps it wasn't a good idea to be in Iraq in the first place. But it is not a good idea to pull out now! Why? Because it sends messages to potential terrorists - terrorism works. What ever happened to the no-compromise stance people are meant to take against terrorism? If one country bows to the pressure of terrorism, it makes it a whole lot harder for the rest of us.

If the reason Spain got attacked by terrorists was because they were in Iraq, does this clearly not demonstrate the links between Iraq and terrorism? So then people should stay in Iraq

I feel sorry for the allies of america. On one hand they are fighting a battle with people who would kill them, on the other hand they are fighting about people who tell them they shouldn't be killing. Where are the people telling the terrorists to stop?
I wonder when peace protesters will realize that passive protest won't work when terrorism is in the equastion? I bet terrorists like it.

hmmmmmm......

2004-03-20T02:25:00.000+13:00

a guy drops a coin, looks, sees its only a five cent piece and walks on. How lazy was that?

i stopped blading this evening, paused for a rest and noticed steam was coming off my head. pretty gnarly.

i spent two hours fiddling with formulas and data i invented on a spreadsheet - the price of having an active intellect.

i wrote a poem the other day, its called rise and fall. Not much, but it'll give me an excuse not to write anything else at this hour:
i saw you yesterday
i saw it
and I remembered you
and I remembered how it began

it was normal
plain and simple
normal, but it worked

but you were scared of it
scared of having it out there
uncertian of its use
you cut it off
left nothing in its place
not letting it grow
you didn't carry it
you hid it

then came the day
you were tired of halting its growth
you were tired of holding back
so you let it grow
slowly but surely
it grew beyond what it was
golden, glorious

but today, today
something eats at it
holes appearing
holes growing
its incomplete
is it falling to pieces?
collapsing under the pressure?

what isn't broken still grows
its starting to cover the holes
cover them over, cover them
perhaps you can stay
perhaps you can rise again

Ten points to the person who guesses what it was originally talking about at the non-metaphorical level.

ok. bed time

cye!

2004-03-16T11:20:00.000+13:00

|the search for the 100th sbemail|
Has so far only yeilded this
Keep your pants on

2004-03-15T22:48:00.000+13:00

|Skilled Christians|
Like one of my resolutions I made in a previous post, I'm not sure what I think about this.
Consider a brainy new-christian. He will be able to understand what a lot of passages say, just because he's got a good brain on his shoulders. Consider a brain-dead old-christian. He doesn't even know any greek words, because he doesn't have much of a brain on his shoulders. Now, which one is better off?
At what point is intellect considered to be a spiritual gift? Can we consider physical/psychological giftings to be spiritual gifts? A good motivational speaker who knows how to get a point across may be much better at getting people to change, (even when he hardly reads his bible) than an agoraphobic who has a masters in divinity.
Where does a spiritual gifting end and a non-spiritual gift begin?
Its hard to make sense of it all.
What I know: Spiritual gifts are good. Physical gifts are good. All gifts come from God.
What I'm pretty sure of: Its better to have a really bad speaker who reads a bible than a good one who doesn't read his bible.
What I'm sure is not: (which the other one could imply) That physical gifts are useless
A possible solution: Spiritual gifts and physical gifts are good. You want both. If you don't have both, ask God to help out. "(God's) ... strength is made perfect in weakness ... ", "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all generously..."
Add in the fact that all are not called to give sermons " ... having then gifts differing according to the grace God has given, let us use them"
A conclusion: Don't try to do what you definitly aren't called to. (After questioning what you aren't called to, always being ready to disprove what you thought you weren't called to) Do ask God for giftings in areas you are called to.

This post has changed from start to finish. What I intended to say I don't feel the need to say anymore. Perhaps I should summarize what I've said. Maybe later. When I do I shall have to look at the issue of calling, or perhaps I'll procrastinate, and leave that one alone.

|Cell Groups|
Had our first indivituated (I hope that thats past tense of the verb individual) cell group tonight. I was leading. Please pray for me when I'm doing this. I often wonder if I'm doing the best I can do, so pray for this (that I do do the best I can and that I don't worry about it unproductivly)

gotta go.
pretty tired
cye!