I listen to the music of last summer. I can hear the haunting tones of Sigur Ros's voice emanating emotion, lamenting what had to be. I think back apon my life, what I have achieved, what I should have achieved. I pass an old acquaintance from my first year at university. They don't notice me, and we walk on. I see a friend, Mark, who is one of the few who still knows my friend Aidan (a friend from high school), as I look at him, and begin to wave I realize another old friend from high school has just passed me by. A few comments to Mark, and he has passed by as well. Before I realize it, another friend from high school is wandering past me. She acts as if she didn't recognize me, and so we wander past each other.

And so I enter the library and squeeze into the lift. We're heading to the 7th floor - I want to go to the 5th, But I figure I'll save the others in the lift some time, and don't press the button. A couple of flights of stairs never hurt anybody. But lo and behold when we go past the 5th floor the lift stops, the doors open. Yet there is no-one outside. Strange. I guess it suits me. I get out of the lift, and laugh to myself. What will others think about me? How did this guy make the lift stop at the floor he wanted without pressing the button? Did he get off at the floor he wanted?
Ah the joys of having a seperate mind to everyone else on the planet. Ah for theory of mind.


This time is a time of reflection. A time of looking back at the past, remembering things that I wouldn't want some people to know about, and smiling at those times when life seemed to be good. But the lens of retrospection is not always a pretty one, and I can see many mistakes I have made. Out of this comes a determination not to fail again. To not misuse any time, to commit my life fully to the glory of God. And this time is also a time of looking at the future. God alone knows what the future holds, yet we are to plan, to make provision for the future, how we may serve the Lord. I know where I want to be, I know I want to be used by the Lord, But I don't know how. So my thoughts bring me to a crossroads, and two signposts. The first sign is old and rickety, pointing down a cracked road. It looks like this road has been used far to much, and fallen into disrepair. It also looks like it wasn't taking the best route anyway. The second sign is new, but it isn't flash. A piece of wood, with fresh paint points to a path that leads through the bush. I can see that the path isn't complete, and there is still a lot of work needed to open up the path fully, but it is pointing in what looks like the right direction. Perhaps this road is how the first road should have been built? I cannot tell. All I know is that soon I'm going to have to decide which road to walk down.

cye!