Now I kinda feel compelled to write something, meaningful. It seems like recently its all been about Fred. Fred is cool, but I don't want to be one who adds a team member as a publicity stunt, so I can get more comments. I'm not saying comments are bad. They're good. So I guess I might have to try another publicity stunt sometime. I mean. Nooo. No publicity stunts here. Nothing to see. Moving right along now.... I'm thinking because I'm going through a couple of litres of kero a week, I may have to buy it in bulk. In Christchurch, I've found that you can get a litre for somewhere round $3-$5. This kinda gets a bit expensive. So the other day, me, my brother and his friend rang round a few industrial companies. "Hi,... Um... Whats the smallest quantity of kerosene that you sell?" - You gotta wonder what they're going to think. An young individual buying copious amounts of kero, and not sounding like he knows anything about the stuff - Anyway, we found one place that sells 60 litres at about $1.80 a litre. Which would be cool. That’s quite cheap, and we'd probably use that up in a year. But then he tells me the price for the 210-litre barrel. It’s under a dollar a litre!!! Can you imagine the size of one of those things? Think how you could just casually mention it to your friends Its hUUge!... Anyway, it would probably be more than we'd ever use, so we're going to have to ring round and see if anyone wants to go shares in getting the barrel. We could probably resell it to others at $2 a litre. A hundred percent profit!!! That way we could use half of it, and the rest would pay for it all!
So that'll be cool. Just so long as no accidents happen.

Sometimes you have to critically ask yourself: Do you really want to do what you are doing? Or are you just running after subgoals within subgoals, which are never actually getting you where you want. Its quite an easy thing to slip into. You start doing something (maybe study), because it will help you get one step closer to something. Making money. Getting a wife. Getting more friends. Being happier. Whatever. But then a couple of months, for one reason or another, doing that activity isn't getting you closer to the main goal, but you don't realize it. (Like, you get a wife, so there’s no point trying to get a wife, or something falls out of place, so your never going to get a job there anyway) So you just keep on going for the old sub-goal. You just keep slogging on.
I guess the worst thing would be if your faith were just another sub-goal. Maybe you went to church because a girl you had a crush on went to church. Maybe you kept on going because all your friends were there, and they accepted you as a Christian. We all know that Christianity is about getting closer to God, but there are little rewards we get when we get closer to God. Respect and admiration from others. God is great. Blessings abound. And yet the temptation is to try to get closer to him, because of the blessings not him. This is really just as repulsive as marrying someone because they are rich (or good looking?)
To tell the truth, I struggle here. For often I don't know if I am getting closer to Christ for his blessings, or for him. Sometimes my motivations are twisted. All I can do is pray to God: God make my motivations pure. Make me love you for you, and not for me. Renew you my passion and my zeal. Fill my mind with you. Prune me; take away all the things that I would take pleasure in over you. Remove anything that stands in your way. Make me honour you. Make me glorify you.
For I know I cannot truly enjoy God unless I am glorifying him

Cye